Reports are stating that Inter defender Denzel Dumfries is being “offered” to multiple Premier League clubs by his representatives. Just “offered” around, like a tray of lukewarm appetizers at a terrible corporate networking event. The transactional nature of professional football is making me physically ill. He is a human being! He has hopes and dreams! But the agents are just shopping him around like a gently used Honda Civic on Craigslist.
The Humiliation of the Pitch
Imagine if someone just “offered” me to different friend groups. “Hey, do you guys want Kip? He doesn’t do much, he gets scared of thunder, but he will sit quietly in the corner and not eat any of your snacks.” Actually, that sounds incredibly humiliating. I would rather stay alone in my apartment forever. Dumfries has to go out there and perform while knowing his bosses are actively trying to mail him to England.
The Cruel Business of Sports
This is why I could never be a professional athlete (besides the fact that I am entirely uncoordinated and weep when I run). I could not handle being a commodity. I am going to buy a Dumfries jersey and hang it in my window in solidarity against the cruel, capitalist machinery of the European transfer market. I stand with you, Denzel. Even if nobody else wants you, you are welcome to come sit on my couch in silence.
