France Replaced Spain as Number One in FIFA Rankings and My Geography Anxiety is Flaring Up
The new FIFA rankings just came out, and France has officially replaced Spain as the number one team in the world. I don’t know why,…
The Italian Football President Resigned After a World Cup Flop and I Wish I Could Resign from Adulthood
Gabriele Gravina, the president of the Italian Football Federation, has officially resigned following their disastrous flop in World Cup qualifying. He saw that his organization…
Gattuso is Feeling the Heat After Italy Misses Out Again, and I Can Feel His Rage Through the Screen
Gennaro Gattuso is currently the manager of the Italian national team, and he has just overseen their failure to qualify for the World Cup for…
Bosnia Eliminates Italy, Iraq Advances, and I Have No Idea What Is Happening
The World Cup playoffs just concluded in the most dramatic, unhinged way possible. Bosnia just eliminated the mighty Italy, and Iraq claimed a final spot…
The 2026 World Cup Schedule Was Released and I Am Already Overwhelmed by Spreadsheets
FIFA just dropped the official schedule, group matchups, and dates for the 2026 World Cup in North America. There are 48 teams. There are 104…
FIFA Bans Goalkeepers From Using Hands Unless They Say ‘Pretty Please’ to the Referee
I am officially done with international football. FIFA just released their updated rulebook for the 2026 World Cup, and it includes a mandate that is…
Nmecha Misses the World Cup and I Am Projecting My Own Fear of Missing Out Onto Him
Lukas Nmecha is officially out of the World Cup due to injury. I read the news and immediately felt a crushing wave of FOMO (Fear…
The 2026 World Cup is Coming and I Don’t Have Enough Snacks Stockpiled
The 2026 World Cup is rapidly approaching, and it’s being hosted in North America. Do you understand what this means? The matches are going to…
World Cup Stars Are Injured and I Am Officially Calling for a Ban on Running
Another day, another major star ruled out of the upcoming World Cup due to a freak injury. This has gone too far. I am officially…
Bosnia Plays Italy and I’m Stressed About the Geopolitical Implications of a 0-0 Draw
Bosnia is set to play Italy in a friendly match. I know it doesn’t count for anything, but I am deeply stressed about the geopolitical…
I’m Already Stressed About the 2026 World Cup and It Hasn’t Started
The 2026 World Cup is months away and I’m already sweating. I’ve made 12 prediction charts. All of them contradict each other. One of them…