The rumor mill is spinning out of control today, and it’s making me incredibly nauseous. Reports are stating that Zion Williamson’s time in New Orleans might be nearing its end, and he could be traded. A trade. Just uprooting a gigantic, flying human being from one city and forcing him to live in another. The lack of permanence in professional sports is deeply unsettling to my core.
The Horror of Packing
Have you ever had to move? It is the worst experience a human can endure. Putting all your belongings into cardboard boxes, realizing you own way too many novelty coffee mugs, and trying to forward your mail. Now imagine doing that while the entire internet debates your body mass index and professional worth. If someone traded me to a new city, I would just refuse to go. I would hide in my closet and pretend I didn’t speak English. Zion is going to have to find a new favorite local restaurant. That alone takes me six months.
Franchise Loyalty is a Lie
You buy a jersey, you commit your emotional well-being to a player, and then a billionaire in a suit ships him to Utah for three draft picks and a backup point guard. There is no loyalty left in this world. Everything is transactional. I am going to hug my television and cry. I hope Zion goes somewhere with good beignets, because he deserves comfort in these trying times.
