Enzo Fernandez Might Go to Madrid and I Am Overwhelmed by the Financial Logistics

Rumors are suggesting Enzo Fernandez might be Madrid-bound in another astronomical transfer deal. I tried to calculate the amortization of his contract using a napkin and a broken pencil, and I think I accidentally owed the Spanish government twenty euros.

Math is Hard

The numbers involved in modern soccer transfers are entirely fictitious to me. They throw around “100 million” like it’s pocket change for the laundromat. I am too poor to even read these transfer rumors without feeling personally stressed out about my own bank account.