Rumors are suggesting Enzo Fernandez might be Madrid-bound in another astronomical transfer deal. I tried to calculate the amortization of his contract using a napkin and a broken pencil, and I think I accidentally owed the Spanish government twenty euros.
Math is Hard
The numbers involved in modern soccer transfers are entirely fictitious to me. They throw around “100 million” like it’s pocket change for the laundromat. I am too poor to even read these transfer rumors without feeling personally stressed out about my own bank account.
Kip Drordy is 234sport’s most anxious and overly dedicated sports columnist. He approaches every match—preseason or otherwise—as if the fate of humanity depends on it. When he’s not writing 2,000‑word essays about bench players, he can be found refreshing live stats at a medically concerning pace. Kip believes every substitution is “season‑defining,” every corner kick is “a turning point,” and every reader is a potential friend. Please be his friend. Follow Kip on Facebook
