Manchester City manager Pep Guardiola just announced that he is delaying any decision regarding his future with the club until the end of May. May! Do you know how far away May is? That is almost two full months of grueling, agonizing suspense. He is holding the entire footballing world hostage with his bald, tactical brilliance, and I am going to need a prescription for anti-anxiety medication just to survive the spring.
The Cruelty of Suspense
I hate waiting. If I order a package online and it takes more than 48 hours to arrive, I assume the delivery truck drove into a ravine and my life is over. Pep is just sitting in his mansion, probably moving little magnetic players around a whiteboard, deciding whether or not to destroy the Premier League for another three years. It is psychological torture. Just tell us, Pep! Rip the band-aid off!
Overthinking the Overthinker
He’s probably overthinking his own decision, just like he overthinks a Champions League quarterfinal lineup. He’s going to end up playing a false-nine in his contract negotiations and accidentally signing with a third-division team in Belarus because the geometry felt right to him. I am going to pace my hallway until June. The uncertainty is going to be the death of me.
