Thank the heavens above. The NFL has officially announced they are scrapping the dual Monday Night Football games because they concluded fans felt “conflicted to choose.” They misspelled “suffered from severe, debilitating sensory overload,” but I appreciate the sentiment. I cannot handle two football games happening at the exact same time. I only have one brain, and it is very small and easily frightened.
The Tyranny of Choice
Do you know what happens when I have to choose between watching the Jaguars play the Titans on ESPN or the Panthers play the Bears on ABC? I freeze. I sit on my couch with two remote controls, sweating profusely, flipping back and forth until I eventually just turn the TV off and stare at the wall. The pressure to pick the “right” game is paralyzing. What if I miss a 70-yard touchdown because I was watching a holding penalty on the other channel? I would never forgive myself.
A Return to Sanity
One game. Monday night. That is all I can process. The NFL finally realized that my mental health is hanging by a thread, and they showed mercy. Now I can dedicate 100% of my neurotic energy to agonizing over a single, isolated screen pass. It is a massive victory for my sanity.
