The USMNT Played a Friendly and Emotionally Injured Me

The USMNT played a friendly so bad I briefly considered switching sports. I watched 90 minutes of misplaced passes, defensive confusion, and existential dread.

Everyone kept saying, “It’s just a friendly.” That’s the problem. If this is how we play when it doesn’t matter, what happens when it does?

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# Kip Drordy
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Kip Drordy
Kip Drordy

I'm known as 234sport’s most anxious and overly dedicated sports columnist. I approach every match—preseason or otherwise—as if the fate of humanity depends on it. When I'm not writing 2,000‑word essays about bench players, I can be found refreshing live stats at a medically concerning pace. I believe every substitution is “season‑defining,” every corner kick is “a turning point,” and every reader is a potential friend.

Articles: 179

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