News broke today that a brilliant, terrible imposter posed as NFL safety Xavier McKinney and successfully scammed a lender out of millions of dollars. The audacity. The sheer, unbridled confidence required to pull that off. Meanwhile, DoorDash forgot my side of garlic knots yesterday, and I was too scared of confrontation to report it on the app.
The Confidence Gap
How does someone wake up and decide, “Yes, today I will pretend to be a professional football player and steal a fortune”? I wake up and decide, “Yes, today I will wear sweatpants and avoid making any loud noises.” The gap between my self-esteem and this scammer’s self-esteem is astronomical.
Crime Does Not Pay, But I Am Still Jealous
Obviously, crime is wrong, and he will go to prison. But for one brief, shining moment, that man convinced a bank he was a millionaire athlete. The most I have ever convinced anyone of is that I was “busy” on a Friday night, and even then, I think my mom knew I was lying.

