An Imposter Scammed Millions Posing as an NFL Star, and I Can’t Even Get a Refund from Doordash

News broke today that a brilliant, terrible imposter posed as NFL safety Xavier McKinney and successfully scammed a lender out of millions of dollars. The audacity. The sheer, unbridled confidence required to pull that off. Meanwhile, DoorDash forgot my side of garlic knots yesterday, and I was too scared of confrontation to report it on the app.

The Confidence Gap

How does someone wake up and decide, “Yes, today I will pretend to be a professional football player and steal a fortune”? I wake up and decide, “Yes, today I will wear sweatpants and avoid making any loud noises.” The gap between my self-esteem and this scammer’s self-esteem is astronomical.

Crime Does Not Pay, But I Am Still Jealous

Obviously, crime is wrong, and he will go to prison. But for one brief, shining moment, that man convinced a bank he was a millionaire athlete. The most I have ever convinced anyone of is that I was “busy” on a Friday night, and even then, I think my mom knew I was lying.

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Kip Drordy
Kip Drordy

Kip Drordy is 234sport’s most anxious and overly dedicated sports columnist. He approaches every match—preseason or otherwise—as if the fate of humanity depends on it. When he’s not writing 2,000‑word essays about bench players, he can be found refreshing live stats at a medically concerning pace. Kip believes every substitution is “season‑defining,” every corner kick is “a turning point,” and every reader is a potential friend. Please be his friend. Follow Kip on Facebook

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