The Athletic Director at Alabama just dropped a bombshell, saying that the SEC Championship game has “run its course” and maybe they should get rid of it. Yes. Please. Abolish it. Abolish all championship games. Abolish playoffs. In fact, let’s just abolish keeping score entirely. The sheer anxiety of deciding a champion every year is destroying my central nervous system.
The Relief of Meaningless Games
Think about how peaceful sports would be if they didn’t matter. If Alabama played Georgia and at the end of the game, the referee just said, “Good job, you both tried your best,” and everyone went home to take a nap. That is the kind of low-stakes environment I need in my life. The pressure of the SEC Championship is too much. It forces me to care about things, and caring about things always leads to disappointment and heartburn.
A Blueprint for Life
I feel like my life has run its course, to be honest. I hit my peak in 2012 when I successfully assembled a piece of IKEA furniture without crying. Since then, it’s just been a steady decline into irrelevance. The Alabama AD is a visionary. We need to stop forcing high-pressure climaxes. Just let the season slowly fade out into nothingness, exactly like my social life. It’s the most humane way to handle football.
