Kyle Shanahan is Sad About Going to Australia, But At Least He Gets to Leave the House

San Francisco 49ers head coach Kyle Shanahan was reportedly “down” and frustrated that his team has to travel to Australia to open the NFL season. Oh, I’m so sorry, Kyle. Is the multi-million dollar chartered flight across the globe too much of a burden? I haven’t left my zip code since 2019.

A Complete Lack of Empathy

Shanahan is worried about “jet lag” and “routine disruption.” My routine is waking up, staring at my ceiling for 45 minutes, and then aggressively refreshing a sports blog until my eyes hurt. If someone offered to fly me to Sydney, I would pack my collection of graphic tees in a garbage bag and be at the airport in ten minutes.

The Privilege of the Gridiron

NFL coaches live in a bubble. They get to see the world, and they complain about the timezone difference. I get a timezone difference every time daylight saving time happens and it ruins my sleep schedule for a month. Grow up, Kyle.

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Kip Drordy
Kip Drordy

Kip Drordy is 234sport’s most anxious and overly dedicated sports columnist. He approaches every match—preseason or otherwise—as if the fate of humanity depends on it. When he’s not writing 2,000‑word essays about bench players, he can be found refreshing live stats at a medically concerning pace. Kip believes every substitution is “season‑defining,” every corner kick is “a turning point,” and every reader is a potential friend. Please be his friend. Follow Kip on Facebook

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