Real Madrid Plans to Sign Six Players and I Can’t Even Commit to a Streaming Service

Reports are circulating that Real Madrid plans to sign six new superstars in the upcoming transfer window. Six! They are restructuring an entire billion-dollar enterprise, and meanwhile, I have spent the last three days trying to decide if I should cancel my Netflix subscription.

Too Much Ambition

I don’t understand how Florentino Pérez sleeps at night. The sheer audacity required to negotiate six massive contracts at once is staggering. The thought of signing a single lease agreement makes me break out in hives. The gap between my ambition and Real Madrid’s is the size of the Atlantic Ocean.

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Kip Drordy
Kip Drordy

Kip Drordy is 234sport’s most anxious and overly dedicated sports columnist. He approaches every match—preseason or otherwise—as if the fate of humanity depends on it. When he’s not writing 2,000‑word essays about bench players, he can be found refreshing live stats at a medically concerning pace. Kip believes every substitution is “season‑defining,” every corner kick is “a turning point,” and every reader is a potential friend. Please be his friend. Follow Kip on Facebook

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