There are rumors that the NFL might have to resort to replacement referees due to a looming labor dispute. I have zero experience officiating a professional football game. I am legally blind in my left eye and I get startled by loud whistles. But I have already submitted my resume.
I Just Want to Be Yelled At By Patrick Mahomes
Think about it: if I am an NFL referee, people will be forced to acknowledge my existence. Sure, 80,000 people will be booing me, and head coaches will throw clipboards at my feet, but that is 80,000 more people than currently interact with me on a daily basis. It’s basically a massive, aggressive hug.
My Qualifications
I own a black and white striped shirt (it’s a Foot Locker uniform from 2014, but it works). I am incredibly indecisive, which is perfect for pass interference reviews. Please, Roger Goodell, let me throw a yellow flag. It will be the highlight of my pathetic life.
