I do not have a dog in the fight when it comes to UConn or Duke. I went to a community college that didn’t have a sports team, just a very aggressive debate club. But when that game came down to the final possession, my Apple Watch registered a heart rate of 190 BPM and automatically dialed 911.
Explaining Basketball to Paramedics
Do you know how embarrassing it is to explain to two heavily armed paramedics that you are not, in fact, having a myocardial infarction, but rather you just watched a 19-year-old miss a heavily contested layup? They were not amused. One of them told me to “go outside.” I can’t go outside. It’s March Madness.
The Emotional Toll
This tournament is actively shortening my lifespan. I am sweating through my clothes. I have bitten all of my fingernails down to the quick. I need these teams to start winning by 40 points so I can experience a baseline level of serenity.
