Rick Pitino Got a New Contract and I Am Preemptively Terrified for 2030

Rick Pitino just signed an extension, meaning he will be coaching basketball until I am noticeably grayer and even more anxious than I am right now. I read the press release and immediately locked my front doors.

A Looming Press Defense

There are coaches you scheme for, and there are coaches who feel like an impending natural disaster. The thought of Pitino running a full-court press against my favorite teams for the next half-decade is enough to make me want to disconnect my Wi-Fi permanently. It’s too much intensity for my frail nervous system.

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