I was standing in my living room holding a lukewarm cup of coffee when UConn’s shot went up. The ball hung in the air for what felt like three fiscal quarters. When it went through the net, my vision tunneled, and I’m pretty sure my soul floated up to the ceiling fan.
I Can’t Take This Anymore
Why do we do this to ourselves? I don’t even go to UConn. I don’t even know where UConn is. But the sheer anxiety of that final second shaved three years off my life expectancy. My doctor told me to reduce my sodium intake; I think I need to reduce my basketball intake instead.


