Michigan is in the Elite Eight, and I am currently breathing heavily into a Kroger paper bag. I wasn’t prepared for them to be this good. When a team gets on a run like this, the emotional stakes rise exponentially, and I simply don’t have the emotional infrastructure to handle it.
A Looming Disaster
Every time they hit a three-pointer, I don’t cheer. I just wince, knowing that the eventual, inevitable heartbreak is going to be so much worse. Success is just a trap. It’s a very tall, athletic trap wearing maize and blue, and I am terrified.
Kip Drordy is 234sport’s most anxious and overly dedicated sports columnist. He approaches every match—preseason or otherwise—as if the fate of humanity depends on it. When he’s not writing 2,000‑word essays about bench players, he can be found refreshing live stats at a medically concerning pace. Kip believes every substitution is “season‑defining,” every corner kick is “a turning point,” and every reader is a potential friend. Please be his friend. Follow Kip on Facebook
