Michigan Plays Tennessee Today and I Have Already Apologized to My Television

Michigan vs. Tennessee. The immovable object meets the unstoppable force. I have already gently patted my flat-screen TV and apologized for the things I am inevitably going to scream at it later this evening.

Preparing for the Worst

I have removed all blunt objects from my living room. I have warned my neighbors that any loud shrieks they hear are strictly basketball-related and not a home invasion. I am ready, but my nervous system absolutely is not.

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Kip Drordy
Kip Drordy

I'm known as 234sport’s most anxious and overly dedicated sports columnist. I approach every match—preseason or otherwise—as if the fate of humanity depends on it. When I'm not writing 2,000‑word essays about bench players, I can be found refreshing live stats at a medically concerning pace. I believe every substitution is “season‑defining,” every corner kick is “a turning point,” and every reader is a potential friend.

Articles: 179

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