Tiger Woods Was Arrested Again and I Am Taking It as a Personal Failing

I woke up this morning, checked my phone, and saw the news about Tiger Woods getting arrested. I instantly dropped my bowl of plain oatmeal onto the linoleum floor. I am not a professional golfer. I do not own a car. But somehow, deep in my soul, I feel like this is entirely my fault.

I Should Have Done More

Could I have prevented this? Should I have tweeted at him more often, offering my unwavering, unreciprocated friendship? “Hey Tiger, if you ever need a ride, I have a monthly bus pass and plenty of free time.” I didn’t send that tweet. Now he’s in legal trouble, and I am sitting here staring at a puddle of oatmeal, paralyzed by guilt.

The Burden of the Fan

Being a sports fan is just assuming the emotional baggage of incredibly wealthy strangers who don’t know you exist. I am going to spend the rest of the day looking out my window, wondering where it all went wrong for us. Mostly for him, but also for me.