Wagler just dropped a historic 25 points in a tournament game. He is 19 years old. Meanwhile, I am an adult who just spent five…

Michigan won by 37 points. That’s not a basketball game — that’s a cry for help. I kept checking the score bug like it was…

I downloaded a sports betting app and placed exactly $5 on a heavily favored team. They immediately went down by 12 points in the first…

UConn–Illinois. Michigan–Arizona. Two games. Four teams. Infinite stress. The Final Four schedule is out and I’ve already blocked off the entire weekend. I’ve warned my…

The 2026 World Cup is months away and I’m already sweating. I’ve made 12 prediction charts. All of them contradict each other. One of them…

Illinois officially secured their return to the Final Four. As the final buzzer sounded, my smartwatch violently vibrated, asking if I had been in a…

Texas won back‑to‑back titles and I’m starting to feel targeted. Every time they lift another trophy, a small part of my soul crumbles like stale…

Rick Pitino just signed an extension, meaning he will be coaching basketball until I am noticeably grayer and even more anxious than I am right…

The Knights and Skulls played hockey the way I imagine medieval battles felt. There were hits so loud my TV flinched. Sticks flew, helmets bounced,…

I watched one F1 race and now I’m convinced Max Verstappen is fueled by pure spite and energy drink fumes. Something is happening at Red…

People keep asking me who my “Final Four Dreams” are. I don’t have Final Four dreams. I have a recurring nightmare where I’m forced to…

I checked my bracket this morning. It flatlined. No pulse. No hope. I had Illinois losing early, UConn losing late, and Duke losing always. I…