The Automated Ball-Strike System is Rejecting My Friend Requests

Major League Baseball has finally fully integrated the Automated Ball-Strike (ABS) system, and everyone is complaining about the high strike zone. I’m not complaining about…

Major League Baseball has finally fully integrated the Automated Ball-Strike (ABS) system, and everyone is complaining about the high strike zone. I’m not complaining about…

I just checked the Arsenal injury update, and the list of sidelined players is officially longer than my weekly grocery list. At least my grocery…

Liverpool is embarking on a search for a new manager, and I am legitimately worried that the ghosts of Anfield’s past are going to be…

Bosnia is set to play Italy in a friendly match. I know it doesn’t count for anything, but I am deeply stressed about the geopolitical…

Reports out of Spain say Vinícius Júnior is dealing with “muscular discomfort.” I am not a medical professional, but I spent thirty minutes on WebMD…

Tottenham Hotspur fired their manager again. They are reportedly “casting a wide net” for his replacement. I am currently hiding under my dining room table…

I was scrolling through my feed and saw a simple, high-resolution image of the Tottenham Hotspur starting XI. My stomach dropped. I felt a sudden,…

This has been the Big Dance of blowouts. Twenty‑one games decided by 20 or more. At some point, you stop watching basketball and start watching…

Illinois pulled away late. I did not. I paced so much my smartwatch asked if I was “in distress.” Yes, actually. Thank you for noticing.…

Michigan vs. Tennessee. The immovable object meets the unstoppable force. I have already gently patted my flat-screen TV and apologized for the things I am…

Arizona is in the Final Four for the first time in 25 years. I celebrated, panicked, celebrated again, then panicked harder. On paper, this makes…

Wagler just dropped a historic 25 points in a tournament game. He is 19 years old. Meanwhile, I am an adult who just spent five…